Don't open that cupboard whatever you do.

Begrudgingly, I admit, it was my idea.
"Let's stay somewhere cheap," I suggested on our trip through New England. "You know the kind of thing I mean, don't you? A budget motel and takeaway pizza."
After several hours of driving from North Conway, New Hampshire towards Boston, I spied what I thought was a pleasant appearing place to stay. What I'd actually directed my husband to drive into was an animal hospital. That looked very smart. The motel was next door, somewhere a little less salubrious.
Correcting our mistake, we made our way to the office where a very helpful man looked at us with incredulity on hearing our accents and request for somewhere to stay. In hindsight, he was probably running through his usual list of  'Do they look as though they're wanted in three states, are narcotic dependent or on the game?' or whatever the American colloquialism may be.
"You want to stay here?" he politely asked. "It's $49 plus tax."
Sounded like a steal to me.
"You may want to look at the room first," he added, sliding a key across the counter. This was our chance to plan our exit strategy but then came the moment when he unwittingly clinched the deal. "Do you want a king size bed or two queens?" he asked, keeping one hand on the key.
Well, naturally, being English, I was not used to choices like this. I felt that deep down, an establishment which offered me more than one option, could not have been that bad.
Off we went to the room, opened the door and apart from the smell, it looked fine. There was a television, a fridge, microwave and air conditioning.
"We'll take it," we said to the office man. He looked a bit shocked.
What followed was not the best night of my life. The telly had been dropped at some point, the fridge didn't cool but seemed to warm and the microwave set fire to the paper cups we tried to heat water in due to the absence of a coffee maker.
My husband came out of the bathroom and said, "Don't open that cupboard whatever you do. Some sort of animal or insect seems to have been living in there. It's OK, it's gone."
Yeah probably to the Vet's surgery next door if it had any sense.